by Marie Claire
Living in a small apartment or house can be challenging when it comes to transforming it into a functional and practical living space. Here’s a quick guide to help you maximize what little space you do have.
1. Think vertically.
You probably don’t have too much floor space, so utilize your wall space. Choose tall, slim bookshelves and hang paintings high on the wall to draw the eye upward. Jamie Novak, a professional organizer and author of 1,000 Best Quick and Easy Organizing Secrets, suggests using the perimeter of the room: “Install shelves eighteen inches below the ceiling on all or some of the walls.” She also suggests hanging items like pots and pans from the ceiling.
2. Choose one large piece of furniture for every room.
In the bedroom, this piece of furniture would be the bed. In the living room, it would be the sofa; in the kitchen, the table, etc. Too much furniture makes rooms look cramped. Often, a second sofa or futon can be replaced with a stylish arrangement of small, space-saving chairs. Also, be reasonable: Don’t try to fit a full-size sofa or a queen-size bed into tiny rooms. Always measure the space you have before you try to fit something in.
3. Don’t acquire too much stuff.
For some, this is quite a challenge. When your home is outfitted in all the necessities, steer clear of buying more furniture, or anything else, for that matter, without getting rid of something. Novak says that a common mistake she sees in terms of streamlining is an inability to overcome separation anxiety. “Whether it is last year’s tote bag or your favorite stuffed toy from childhood, it can be hard to let go,“ she says. “Take a photo and let the item go or you’ll run out of space.”
4. Make good use of the space you do have.
When you’re working with a very small amount of space, every square inch counts. Buy rolling bins for under-the-bed storage of linens, seasonal clothes, shoes, etc. Make the most out of your closet by adding hooks, shelves, and/or plastic storage bins. Your bookcases are not just for books anymore—add storage for remotes, photos and more by fitting your bookcases with baskets and tins. Novak recommends placing a baker’s rack in the entranceway to serve as a catch-all for keys, hats, mail and more.
5. Adhere to simplicity of design.
The Scandinavians have the right idea: clean lines, classic colors and patterns, and practical design all contribute to a more comfortable small-space dwelling. Use minimal drapery (instead, plain Roman blinds are adequate window dressing) and simple patterns (if you have a crazy floral motif on your sofa, a pretty slipcover serves as an economical choice to alter the look). Stick with one color scheme throughout the apartment to avoid rooms looking disconnected.
Shine from Yahoo
Seven Powerful Steps to Increase Self-Confidence
By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
We come into this world with total self-confidence/ self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/ self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/ self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence or self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those who have experience any form of deprivation, they need to re-establish what is their birth-right: self-confidence / self-esteem.
1.) Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems—a.k. a.—Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.
3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.
4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
5.) Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself—self- talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured—Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
###
We come into this world with total self-confidence/ self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/ self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/ self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence or self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those who have experience any form of deprivation, they need to re-establish what is their birth-right: self-confidence / self-esteem.
1.) Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems—a.k. a.—Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.
3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.
4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
5.) Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself—self- talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured—Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
###
What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance
By Tim Robinson
Men and women think differently about romance.
Men are goal-oriented. They measure their success by their achievement. Unconsciously, they tend to divide their relationship into two phases - courtship and 'Keepership'.
The aim of courtship is to woo the woman and win her affection. During the courtship, he is the hunter while she is the hunted. During the hunt, he can be wonderfully charming, thoughtful and sensitive. He attends to her every whim and fancy. He is sensitive to her feelings and needs. He pays great attention to every detail. He will go to great length to please her. If necessary, he will climb the highest mountain, swim the widest river, and bungee jump, just for her. He may send flowers or a loving note after a romantic date.
But once her heart is captured, the courtship is over. When the hunt is over, so is romance. When he senses the woman cares for him, he changes. His victory is assured. Having captured her heart, she is like a trophy for keeps.
Women tend to be different. They want romance to continue; they are disappointed when it ceases. Women often feel shortchanged by men when romantic behavior fades. Women complain that men take them for granted.
For most men, romance is a means to an end; to many women, romance is an end in itself. Most men don't feel discomfort with romance; they love it. Guess who read romantic novels - the women of course!
Men, on the other hand, are anxious to get over with the pursuit so that they can stop worrying, relax and enjoy the rewards of victory. While women tend to equate pursuit with love, men often equate not having to pursue with love. Having possessed her love, he can stop pursuing her.
Before marriage, men often declare their undying love with the magic words, "I love you." But after marriage, they hardly utter those words. The excuse men gave is that they have not changed their mind since they declared their undying love at the altar; and if he ever changes his mind, he would tell her. They feel they don't have to remind her that 'I love you' everyday.
What a dilemma for the women! Is there any hope for romance? Of course there are. A committed relationship need not be without romance and passion.
If a woman wants her man to be romantic, here are some things she can do.
Do not hassle him to buy you presents, bring you flowers or accompany you for shopping. Men do not like to be told what to do. If you keep nagging him, you will probably succeed in making him feel pressured and guilty, but you are not going to get him to feel more romantic. Even if he dutifully gives in and brings home a dozen roses from the florist, it will probably be mere compliance. Romance has to come from the heart, not out of obligation. The smart woman knows that compliance is an enemy of romance. Let him feel it is his ideas, not yours.
Simply allow him to enjoy being loved. Interpret his diminished need to be romantic as a compliment, as a hallmark of his trust in you. He is assured of your love. You are safely in his fold. Therefore he does not feel the need to woo you and to remind you of his love for you.
Understand the psychology of men. Do the unexpected. Reward him occasionally. Keep him in suspense. To be predictable is to be boring. Be unpredictable. Men enjoy the chase. Put him in a competition so that he will not take you for granted. Be vague. The uncertainty stimulates him, motives him to re-embark on the romantic chase; it drives him wild.
Remember, for men, romance is a goal-oriented behavior, a time when they are uncertain of a woman's feeling towards them. The key word is uncertainty. When men are uncertain, they become more romantic.
###
Men and women think differently about romance.
Men are goal-oriented. They measure their success by their achievement. Unconsciously, they tend to divide their relationship into two phases - courtship and 'Keepership'.
The aim of courtship is to woo the woman and win her affection. During the courtship, he is the hunter while she is the hunted. During the hunt, he can be wonderfully charming, thoughtful and sensitive. He attends to her every whim and fancy. He is sensitive to her feelings and needs. He pays great attention to every detail. He will go to great length to please her. If necessary, he will climb the highest mountain, swim the widest river, and bungee jump, just for her. He may send flowers or a loving note after a romantic date.
But once her heart is captured, the courtship is over. When the hunt is over, so is romance. When he senses the woman cares for him, he changes. His victory is assured. Having captured her heart, she is like a trophy for keeps.
Women tend to be different. They want romance to continue; they are disappointed when it ceases. Women often feel shortchanged by men when romantic behavior fades. Women complain that men take them for granted.
For most men, romance is a means to an end; to many women, romance is an end in itself. Most men don't feel discomfort with romance; they love it. Guess who read romantic novels - the women of course!
Men, on the other hand, are anxious to get over with the pursuit so that they can stop worrying, relax and enjoy the rewards of victory. While women tend to equate pursuit with love, men often equate not having to pursue with love. Having possessed her love, he can stop pursuing her.
Before marriage, men often declare their undying love with the magic words, "I love you." But after marriage, they hardly utter those words. The excuse men gave is that they have not changed their mind since they declared their undying love at the altar; and if he ever changes his mind, he would tell her. They feel they don't have to remind her that 'I love you' everyday.
What a dilemma for the women! Is there any hope for romance? Of course there are. A committed relationship need not be without romance and passion.
If a woman wants her man to be romantic, here are some things she can do.
Do not hassle him to buy you presents, bring you flowers or accompany you for shopping. Men do not like to be told what to do. If you keep nagging him, you will probably succeed in making him feel pressured and guilty, but you are not going to get him to feel more romantic. Even if he dutifully gives in and brings home a dozen roses from the florist, it will probably be mere compliance. Romance has to come from the heart, not out of obligation. The smart woman knows that compliance is an enemy of romance. Let him feel it is his ideas, not yours.
Simply allow him to enjoy being loved. Interpret his diminished need to be romantic as a compliment, as a hallmark of his trust in you. He is assured of your love. You are safely in his fold. Therefore he does not feel the need to woo you and to remind you of his love for you.
Understand the psychology of men. Do the unexpected. Reward him occasionally. Keep him in suspense. To be predictable is to be boring. Be unpredictable. Men enjoy the chase. Put him in a competition so that he will not take you for granted. Be vague. The uncertainty stimulates him, motives him to re-embark on the romantic chase; it drives him wild.
Remember, for men, romance is a goal-oriented behavior, a time when they are uncertain of a woman's feeling towards them. The key word is uncertainty. When men are uncertain, they become more romantic.
###
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
